Over the years I am definitely guilty of venting my anger to people, the Internet, to family/friends, basically to anyone within my immediate vicinity. If I'm upset someone is sure to hear about it. But lately I have (albeit - slowly) come to the realization that venting is incredibly unhealthy.
Instead of cooling off it actually feeds my anger and adds fuel to the fire. Instead of calming down I find myself becoming increasingly more agitated leading to a terrible mindset and attitude.
After the birth of my first child in order to feel less alone and isolated I joined a ton of mommy groups via social media. The mommy collective all over the world shares their expertise in everything from feeding to sleeping to changing to washing our brand new charges. It's really quite helpful for first time moms who are both seriously sleep deprived and now have the pleasure of trying to keep a brand new life alive! Eeks! It's very scary and these groups are awesome!
However, I noticed a large number of women in these mommy groups all over social media also venting their frustrations with their MIL (mother-in-laws), SO (significant others) and of course DH (dear husbands)! It's really no wonder why, stereotypically, mother-in-laws are "monsters" and husbands are "imbeciles". I mean with such a "supportive" community out there, real or virtual, its really no wonder why the most important relationships in our lives are in such tatters.
Now I'm not talking about seeking out the wisdom of close friends and older women who have gone before us and have sucessfully blazed the very same trails we are now currently traversing ourselves. Life is hard and when things are looking down we need a few close friends to talk to who will help us, guide us and talk us down off that proverbial ledge. That is actually healthy and helpful! Afterall, why reinvent the wheel? No man is an island and all that...
What I mean is taking to social media to blast the very existance of those whom we supposedly hold dear in our lives. I'm talking about unloading a day's, a week's, amonth's worth of uncommunicated anger and resentment towards someone to an audience of mostly faceless strangers. It's neither healthy or helpful. In fact I'm convinced that it must have contributed to the demise of at least one relationship if not more. You have a large group of women who only hear the one side of things, your side of things, which of course we'll paint fairly right? With everyone chiming in with their two cents the only views that will catch your eye of course are the ones that you already agree with! I mean if you're venting about a sink full of unwashed dishes obviously you're looking for women to tell you that your huband is lazy or good for nothing or a plethora of unconstructive and unhealthy things, leading you to feel rather justified in your own feelings about said husband. All the while poor said husband is entirely unaware of the events which are transpiring right under his nose. This anger and resentment eventually comming to a head and *boom* another one bites the dust.
In all my short temperedness I really praise God I never took to social media to vent and I pray that I will continue on this path. Venting is not constructive and it's not helpful and I am so glad that I saw the light! Communication is the key in any high stress situation and I would say being responsible for a brand new life definately qualifies as ahigh stress situation.
I still have quite a temper and throw in high stress and it seems this temper has been amplified 10,000 fold. I'm far from perfect but I'm really happy that I avoided a huge pitfall!
Now if I can only get my temper under control....
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